FAQ

Why am I a housewife? Once upon a time I was laid off from my job (as an office grunt) and since I live in the middle of effing nowhere, future career options are slim. Since I am not at a job eight hours per day, I GUESS it falls on me to take care of things like cooking dinner and vacuuming. I guess.

Why am I a bad housewife? Because I’d rather read, or take pictures, or dance, or hike, or clean out the make-up drawer (I don’t wear make-up), or pluck out my eyeballs, or learn to snowboard backwards, or do just about anything other than fold laundry or wash dishes.

Am I a naughty housewife? Sometimes. Lucky Hubby. We won’t be blogging about those particular escapades, perv.

Why am I blogging? It started a few years back as a reason/excuse to sit down and write shit sometimes. Then I gave that up, cause meh… who cares? Now it’s who knows? I don’t. Really, I don’t.

What do I do when not blogging? Because, clearly, I am not housewife-ing very well, right? What’re you tryin’ to say, huh? What?

Sigh. Okay, it’s true. When I am trying to avoid housework, I also have yoga and meditation and Zumba which I like to avoid. I have a whole list of things I avoid, because commitment scares me: scrapbooking, reading the stack of books on my night stand, writing that novel in my head, painting, etc., etc. Pretty much I am down for blog reading, FaceBooking, and Pinterest because the pressure to engage there is rather low and/or short-lived.

So I have a family, Hubby (the husband), Tike (my six-year-old son), and Tot (my two-year-old son). Just for fun and consistency we’ll call me Wifey, guess what I do. We have a tiny adorable dog named Rye, 1 chicken called Hermione, and a cat named Willie who lived here before we did. The garden is Hubby’s domain. The animals get passed back and forth depending on who feels more feisty that day. As a family, we like to do outdoorsy stuff, like camping, hiking, and fishing. Plus we like to road trip, which is not technically outdoorsy, but I feel confident it fits with the theme no less.

I used to/strive to again read like a bitch whose life depends on what authors have committed to the page. Like perhaps  the secret of life and key to the universe are written down somewhere. I bet they are, too. I hope so, I know I won’t be discovering these things on my own. I’m a little busy over here making dinner from a box and pretending to sort laundry by color.

I like to play ‘Just Dance’ on the Wii, it makes me feel like a bad-ass rock star. I also feel that way when I am singing songs at the top of my lungs while driving around with the radio blasted. I don’t do that enough. It’s usually Paramore, but it could be Veggie Tales, depending on the day. I like to sing and dance, so my poor children gets to see/hear that quite a bit. Fortunately, they’re pretty down dudes.

PS- I offended myself with the dinner-from-a-box comment. I don’t do that anymore. The vast majority of our food no longer comes from a package. That’s one good housewifey thing, right?

So whattya think?

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